Did you know that continually fighting and bickering is addictive. It is. Fight or Flight The way it was taught to me in school was that the fight or flight response is hard wired into us since the beginning of time. When the saber toothed tiger jumps out of the jungle at the cave man, the adrenaline rush causes you to prepare you to either fight the tiger or run like hell. Fighting and bickering, and the anger that comes with it, kicks off the old fight-or-flight response that prepares us to handle a threat. This produces a kind of energy, or "high." This high is linked with the fighting and bickering, and an addiction is formed. Some people have said that what kept the fighting alive in their relationship was the "juiced" feeling they would get when fighting mad. Breaking the addiction The strategy to break the addiction is to set up a new link in your mind. Instead of linking the fighting to the high of anger, link the fighting to the pain you feel when you are being hurt by your partner and the hurt you cause. This will take some time and practice. It is worth it, because you will learn to avoid the fighting to avoid the pain. |
